What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My feet surprised me
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