Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
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I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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