i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize