i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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