Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
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Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
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Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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