Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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