I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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