You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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