I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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