So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
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Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
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Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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