I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
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Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize