There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize