Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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