My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
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I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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