She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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