I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
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I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
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I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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