I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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