couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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