But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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