ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize