Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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