There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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