this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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