I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize