I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
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If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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