Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize