your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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