the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
foreskin is a definite game changer
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize