they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
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I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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