I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize