we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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