swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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