im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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