Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize