just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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