why didn't you poke me back
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
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He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
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she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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