I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize