Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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