"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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