im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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