batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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