I want to make a zoo with you.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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