Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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