the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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