This girl is more easily done than said...
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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