turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This couple is walking their pig around campus
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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