Texts From Last Night

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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?

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  (225): he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel? http://tfl.nu/f7r7
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...

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  (609): So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated... http://tfl.nu/17ul
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.

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  (847): john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer. http://tfl.nu/ic81
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now

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  (703): He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now http://tfl.nu/q7km
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...

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  (908): Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty... http://tfl.nu/7ob9
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.

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  (816): and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore. http://tfl.nu/dnny
  Replies (17) Good night (4481) Bad night (1006)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

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  (678): As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off. http://tfl.nu/2oau
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.

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  (815): sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night. http://tfl.nu/z8wo
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.

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  (908): The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one. http://tfl.nu/8bgn
  Replies (3) Good night (2927) Bad night (953) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.

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  (310): Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well. http://tfl.nu/39wu
  Replies (20) Good night (7407) Bad night (553)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

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  (978): Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me. (978): Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex. http://tfl.nu/urbj
  Replies (2) Good night (1760) Bad night (489)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready

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  (515): P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready http://tfl.nu/rgh6
  Replies (15) Good night (1640) Bad night (1195)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.

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  (317): Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of. http://tfl.nu/wzwb
  Replies (4) Good night (1238) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick

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  (757): Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick http://tfl.nu/3rkl
  Replies (8) Good night (507) Bad night (948) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome

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  (303): I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome http://tfl.nu/ctsa
  Replies (4) Good night (1272) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt

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