Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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