hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize