YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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