I seem to have left my pride at pride
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Just puked most of my soul out..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize